“We said it out loud on our very first date: we want to become fathers. A shared dream that takes trust, faith, and commitment.”
Love on a summer afternoon
My name is Mike (34), a project manager in media. Together with my partner Boudewijn (33), a project lead at an architecture firm, I live in The Hague. We’re two positive, creative men with one big wish: to start a family together through surrogacy. Surrogacy is a deeply loving and intimate process, in which a woman carries a child for people who cannot carry one themselves.
Our journey didn’t begin with a child, but with finding each other. On a sunny afternoon at a café in Rotterdam, we couldn’t stop talking. It was love at first sight. During my time being single, I had made a list of qualities my dream man should have: loyalty, humor, attraction, commitment. And one important one: a deep desire to become a parent. That combination is rare in the gay dating world. But there he was. Boudewijn. Exactly as I had imagined. And on that very first date, we said it aloud: “I want to be a dad.” No doubt. Just certainty.
A special path to parenthood
Becoming a parent in the traditional way is already something special. Becoming a parent through surrogacy takes something extra. Trust. Faith. Commitment. And from both of us.
Once our dream became clear, we took action. Through meetings about surrogacy, we educate ourselves about the possibilities and speak openly about our wish to become parents, also with family and friends. They feel the same as we do: it’s not a question of if our child will be born, but when.
"It feels unique to walk this path together. A route that few people take. A journey we get to shape ourselves. That feels special."
Growing as partners and as a team
We’re learning a lot. About ourselves. About each other. About who we are as partners and as a team. The more steps we take, the more we understand what truly fits us. And the clearer our vision becomes on surrogacy, and the role of the surrogate and her family.
We’ve consciously chosen a path of surrogacy. A woman and her family who are willing to give us such a special gift, we want them to have a place in our child’s life.
It feels unique to walk this path together. A route that few people take. A journey we get to shape ourselves. That feels special. Sharing our story is both powerful and vulnerable. And when I see Boudewijn dive into this adventure with so much love and energy, I feel deeply grateful and proud.
Creativity as an outlet and preparation
In our free time, we love to express our creativity. Boudewijn is very handy and loves making things, from painting to woodworking and crafting lamps. He can’t wait to create beautiful things for our future child. I host a podcast, where I interview guests about their dreams that have come true. Their stories inspire me daily to make our own dream a reality.
On Instagram, we share our journey toward fatherhood. Not just to express our wish, but to create more visibility for future rainbow families. In the Netherlands, intended parents are not allowed to actively search for a surrogate. That makes the journey complex and sometimes it takes a great deal of creativity.
Looking ahead with confidence
We found soulmates in each other and share a longing that burns deeply within us. Because we know this will work out, self-doubt has no space to block our dream. We’ve already brought so much of it to life.
We look forward to the steps still ahead, meeting a kind woman and her family, getting to know each other, and eventually expanding our family.
This just might be my most beautiful manifestation yet.
