Adjusting to your new role

Parenthood

After having a child, your role in life changes, you are now a parent. You are responsible for a tiny human, which is a beautiful but also challenging experience. We love highlighting the joys of parenthood, but we also acknowledge the difficult and less glamorous parts. Parenthood affects many aspects of life, including mental health, your relationship with your partner, and intimacy, sometimes in positive ways, but also in ways that can be challenging. We explore these topics together, sharing stories from other parents, practical tips, and expert advice.

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A realistic view of your role as a parent

A realistic view of your role as a parent

Many parents enter parenthood with an idealized vision. You want to do everything right—provide the perfect upbringing, build a strong bond, and somehow maintain your social life, career, and relationship all at once. But these expectations are often unrealistic and can lead to feelings of failure. Parenthood rarely unfolds exactly as imagined, and you truly learn how to raise a child only by doing it. Becoming a parent changes your perspective on life, whether you are a single parent, co-parenting, or raising a child with a partner. Social media often plays a big role in shaping unrealistic expectations, but remember that appearances can be misleading. Every family has its own struggles. Children don’t need perfect parents, they need loving, involved parents. Try not to compare yourself to others and trust your own instincts.

Do you ever feel like you’re the only one struggling? In our app, you’ll find videos from other parents sharing their experiences, the challenges they face, and how they navigate parenthood.

Intimacy as parents: a new phase

Intimacy as parents: a new phase

Intimacy often changes after having children. Several factors can influence this, such as physical and emotional exhaustion, hormonal shifts, and your new role as a parent.

Physical recovery after birth: be creative
Your body needs time to recover after childbirth, and emotional intimacy may also take time to rebuild. Be open with your partner about how you feel, what you need, and what you are (or aren’t) ready for. Get creative, if certain aspects of intimacy still feel out of reach, find new ways to connect. Intimacy will look different now, but this can also be an opportunity to bond in new ways, leading to fun, sweet, and even hilarious moments.
Less spontaneity: make it a priority
Before kids, intimacy often happened spontaneously. Now, it may require more planning, which can feel unnatural at first. Try not to see it as scheduling, but as prioritizing your relationship. Think of it as an investment in each other, just like making time for other important aspects of life. And if you do get a rare spontaneous moment without the kids, seize it!

The impact of parenthood on your relationship

It’s no surprise that your relationship changes after having children. Parenthood is a major life event that transforms you as a person and shifts the dynamics within your relationship. Before kids, you had plenty of time for each other. Now, most of your attention goes to your child. Here’s how your relationship may change as parents:

You learn to appreciate each other’s strengths
Becoming parents allows you to see new sides of your partner. Qualities that may not have been obvious before suddenly stand out. Maybe your partner is an amazing storyteller, reading books in a fun and engaging way, or perhaps they handle sleep deprivation much better than you expected.
A deeper emotional bond
Transitioning from partners to parents creates a unique connection. You share the responsibility of raising a child, working toward the same goal. This shared journey can strengthen your emotional bond.
Less quality time together
Your days are packed, and alone time with your partner becomes rare. Make sure to carve out moments for each other, even if it’s just 10 minutes of uninterrupted conversation.
Shifting roles in the relationship
One partner may take on more childcare responsibilities while the other focuses on work, which can sometimes cause tension. If this becomes an issue, communicate your expectations clearly. Your roles may have shifted, but you can still share the joy of your child’s milestones.
Less or ineffective communication
Busy schedules, exhaustion, and seeing less of each other can lead to minimal or superficial communication, often revolving around the kids. Good communication is key. If you’re struggling, talk about it. Keeping things bottled up may not seem like a big deal at first, but over time, it can create distance between you.

You are not alone

You are not alone

Parenthood comes with challenges, but remember, you are not alone. Sharing experiences, finding connection, and taking care of yourself are essential steps. Did you know that in our app, you can connect with other parents to discuss developmental leaps, parenting, sleep, feeding, and more?

By being open and seeking support, you can embrace the small, beautiful moments that make parenthood so special.

Mental health in parenthood

Some parents adapt easily, while others struggle more with the emotional changes that parenthood brings. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed by the new responsibilities. Parenthood is full of emotions: joy, pride, love, but also exhaustion and doubt. These feelings can coexist. You may be thrilled that your dream of having a child has come true while also feeling drained by the reality of daily parenting. And that’s okay.

Shifting priorities
As a parent, your priorities naturally change. Things that once seemed important, like nightlife, career ambitions, or personal hobbies, may take a backseat. Some parents struggle with letting go of their old lives, while others find relief in the slower pace. The pressure to climb the career ladder or maintain a busy social life fades, and that can be liberating. The most important thing in your life now is your family. Parenthood also challenges you to grow as a person, developing patience, resilience, and empathy.
A new perspective on life
Many parents experience a deep sense of purpose. Raising a child feels like contributing to something bigger, nurturing the next generation. Parenthood brings a fresh appreciation for life’s small moments. The unconditional love from your child can be one of the most fulfilling aspects of parenthood.

Guilt in parenthood
Parenthood is one of the most meaningful roles in life, but it often comes with guilt. You may feel pressure to juggle everything, work, relationships, social life, and parenting. If you struggle to keep up, stress and self-doubt can creep in. You might feel guilty about not spending enough time with your friends or partner, or even for wanting a break from your child. Societal expectations can add to this pressure. It’s important to recognize that these feelings are normal. They show that you care about your child and take your role as a parent seriously. But perfection is unattainable. Mistakes are part of parenting. Focus on what you’re doing well, set realistic expectations, talk about your feelings, and ask for help when needed.
Feeling lonely in parenthood
Many new parents experience loneliness, especially in the early months. Your social life changes, and you may feel like others don’t fully understand what you’re going through. Parenting decisions, like whether to breastfeed or bottle-feed or how to handle sleep routines, can feel overwhelming, and you might wonder if you’re the only one struggling. It’s completely normal to feel this way. Find ways to connect with others in a way that works for you. Reach out to other parents, schedule social time if you need it, and share your experiences. Quality matters more than quantity, one deep conversation with someone who understands can be more valuable than a packed social calendar.
Postpartum depression
Around 10% of new mothers experience postpartum depression, and in 9% of cases, symptoms start before the baby is even born. Fathers can also struggle with depression. Beyond postpartum depression, one in five women experiences negative emotions or anxiety after birth, and one in seven experiences significant stress. The postpartum period, often called the fourth trimester, is a time of recovery, both physically and mentally. Parenthood isn’t always the blissful experience some expect. If you experience depressive feelings during or after pregnancy, reach out to a doctor for support.