Love in the time of diapers

Intimacy

Having children is magical, but it’s also a complex experience. You change as a person, and your priorities shift. This can also affect your role in your relationship, including intimacy. The intimacy in your relationship will never be exactly the same as before having kids, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing! We’re exploring the different factors that influence intimacy after parenthood, highlighting all sides of the story.

On this page you’ll find..

A new kind of attraction
Physical and emotional exhaustion
Tips
Hormonal changes
The new role

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A new kind of attraction

A new kind of attraction

The transition to parenthood requires a lot of time and energy, but it can also be a beautiful opportunity to rediscover each other. You suddenly see each other in a completely new role, that of a parent. You might realize your partner is more patient than you expected or see how loving they are with your child. This deepens your emotional connection, which in turn strengthens attraction!

Physical and emotional exhaustion

Physical and emotional exhaustion

After your little one arrives, exhaustion (most likely) becomes your new best friend. And trust us, this friend can be quite persistent. Daily life, with sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, can make you feel more like a zombie than a romantic partner. This can lead to less energy for intimacy. Our advice? Get creative! And remember: it doesn’t always have to be perfect. A spontaneous hug or a short moment together can be just as intimate.

Tips to keep the spark alive as young parents

It can be challenging to maintain intimacy after having kids. By now, we all know communication is key in a relationship. Share what you’re struggling with and what your expectations are. But how do you keep the spark alive? Here are some tips to keep the connection strong:

Feel good about yourself again
Attraction often starts with yourself. Take care of yourself, wear clothes that make you feel good, and reconnect with your own sense of sexuality. As a parent, it’s understandable to feel a bit lost in this area. Allow yourself to rediscover what makes you feel attractive and sensual. Experiment with what makes you feel good, whether it’s a new fragrance, outfit, or body lotion. But most importantly, take the time to appreciate your body as it is now. Your body has done incredible things and deserves love and respect. When your confidence grows, your partner will notice it too.

Make eye contact and flirt again
Have you lost sight of each other a little since the kids arrived? Flirting isn’t just for the dating phase! Make eye contact during dinner and give subtle compliments. Small gestures create a sense of desire. Focus on what you find attractive about your partner, their infectious laugh, their deep voice, or the way they move.
Try new things
Trying new things together can be exciting for both of you. This could be in the bedroom, but also in everyday life. Pick up a new hobby together, take a dance class or try cooking something new. Plan a weekend away without the kids to reconnect. Have open conversations about your desires and explore new things you both want to try.
Touch each other more often
Physical touch is essential for attraction. It doesn’t always have to be sexual, it can be a back massage, a hug, or a simple touch in passing. Hold hands during a walk and always kiss each other goodbye. Prioritize cuddling, as it has a positive effect on your relationship and attraction. Touch releases oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” which strengthens your emotional connection and rekindles attraction.
Schedule intimate moments
Before kids, intimacy was often spontaneous. But once you have children, spontaneity becomes a challenge. A lot of time and energy goes into parenting, and while spontaneity is nice, it’s not always realistic. It might sound unromantic, but scheduling intimate moments can really help. Plan time together without distractions, an evening without phones, just the two of you. And if you don’t have much time, remember: even 10 minutes of undivided attention can be magical.

So, if you’ve noticed that intimacy in your relationship has changed after having kids, whether in a positive or challenging way, know that you’re not alone. It’s a process, and with patience, communication, and a little humor, you can embrace this new phase of life together!

Hormonal changes

Hormonal changes

Hormones… After birth, hormonal fluctuations can affect your libido. For some, this means an increased desire, while others just crave a good night’s sleep. The key is open communication about what you both need. A good conversation can work wonders, and intimacy doesn’t always have to happen in the bedroom.

The new role as parents

Your dynamic as a couple changes when you become parents. You’re not just partners anymore; you’re also a parenting team with a shared goal, raising your child in a happy and healthy way. Parenthood can strengthen your bond, but it can also cause stress. Don’t forget to make time for each other. Even a simple date night at home with your favorite show can give your relationship a boost.

The ups and downs of intimacy as parents

Yes, intimacy changes, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone! Parenthood can even create new forms of connection. Facing challenges together can strengthen your bond. Of course, there will also be moments of frustration and distance. It’s all about balance and that’s not always easy.