From Six Months of Breastfeeding to Five Years and Tandem Nursing

When my milk came in after my first birth and seemed to flow endlessly, I was overjoyed. Those overly large breasts I had always disliked suddenly seemed to have a purpose after all.

My goal was to breastfeed for six months. After that, we would see how things went once our daughter started solids.

Our breastfeeding journey felt so natural and rewarding that we simply kept going. At first, I thought we would stop around her first birthday. After all, according to the child health clinic, breastfeeding beyond that point was “no longer necessary.”

Later, I learned that the WHO (World Health Organization) recommends continuing breastfeeding alongside complementary foods until at least age two and beyond. After reading about the potential benefits for children’s health and immune systems, I decided to learn more about extended breastfeeding. In the end, I chose to continue.

For us, breastfeeding became about much more than nutrition. It helped my daughter unwind after a busy day at daycare, comforted her after a fall, and was often the only thing she wanted when she was sick. It also helped both of us sleep well, and I personally noticed how calming the hormones released during nursing could be.

Even now, I’m still amazed by what a woman’s body is capable of. It felt right for us, so we kept going.

Breastfeeding came easily to me, but getting pregnant again proved to be much more difficult. We had a strong desire for a second child. Still, both my family doctor and the fertility clinic advised me to stop breastfeeding.

I found that heartbreaking. My daughter was still asking to nurse every day, and I felt like I had to choose between meeting her need for closeness and comfort and my wish for a second child. But a few months before I was actually planning to stop, I got pregnant after all. We were overjoyed.

At the same time, I read online that children sometimes stop nursing on their own when their mother becomes pregnant. The composition of the milk changes, and the taste can change as well.

The opposite turned out to be true for us. My oldest became a real milkaholic and happily kept nursing. I was perfectly fine with that, although I did worry about the possibility of preterm labor. Breast pumps often come with warnings not to pump in the weeks leading up to your due date because it may trigger contractions.

Ironically, I gave birth to both of my daughters at exactly the same gestational age: 40 weeks and 2 days. And both were born on a Tuesday.

What happened next was truly amazing.

Not only did our girls immediately learn how to “share” their mom, but my oldest also drank away all of my engorgement. I had experienced so much pain from that during the first postpartum period, and this time it made those first weeks so much more relaxed.

I also didn’t struggle with a strong letdown reflex, and there was more than enough milk for both children. The only time I really needed to pump was when my oldest was at daycare, otherwise I felt like I was about to explode. After all, my body was producing milk for two children.

With tandem nursing, both children breastfeed at the same time, each from one breast. Pretty convenient that I have two of them.

Before long, the girls started stroking each other and holding hands while nursing. They thought it was hilarious to switch sides and, to be honest, they probably see me as a combination of a human pacifier and a milk factory. Once the milk is “gone,” they often curl up with their dad instead. That quickly reminds me what my primary role is.

I continue to be amazed by the number of opinions people throw at you the moment you become a mother. One question pregnant women are often asked is, “Are you going to breastfeed?”

If you say you don’t want to, you’re practically treated like the worst mother in the world. After all, “breastfeeding is best for your baby,” right? What I find ironic is that when you continue breastfeeding beyond a year, you suddenly seem to be doing it wrong as well.

People say it’s unnecessary, that you’re spoiling your child, that it looks strange, or that it simply isn’t appropriate. I continue to be fascinated by what I like to call the “mom mafia.” Some people also assume I’m keeping my oldest dependent or that she probably doesn’t eat well because she still breastfeeds.

Interestingly, I never hear those same comments about a bedtime bottle of porridge, which many children also receive before going to sleep. Whether your child drinks milk from a bottle or from a breast, I sometimes think it’s best to focus on your own child instead.

Fortunately, motherhood has taught me to care less and less about other people’s opinions. I know what feels right for our family, and that is what matters most.

The truth is, you’ll never do everything right in the eyes of the mom mafia. So why spend your valuable energy worrying about it? That energy is much better invested in yourself, your children, and, if you have one, your partner.

People regularly ask me when we plan to stop. Honestly? I’m not exactly sure. Somewhere between now and their eighteenth birthday, I usually joke.

Of course, there are moments when I long to have my body completely to myself again. But in the grand scheme of a lifetime, this period is so short. One day there will be a final feeding, but for now, continuing still feels right.

I never expected our breastfeeding journey to unfold this way. If there is one thing I would like other mothers to take away from my story, it is this: trust your instincts. You know your child better than anyone else.

As for my breasts, I certainly never have to feel insecure about them anymore. Whenever I take off my shirt at home, everyone in the house is happy.