Differences in character in children

All children have a different character. Every child also develops at his/her own pace. Would you like to know when your child will develop which skills? In our app, you will find the motor, cognitive, social-emotional and speech developments that your baby develops in each leap.

In addition to the differences in external characteristics, children also differ considerably in character. And that is absolutely okay, because every child is unique. It is up to parents to learn to deal with their child’s character traits.

From the very birth of your baby, you can see differences in characters in a baby. Does your baby sleep a lot and is he calm and satisfied or is your baby awake a lot and looks around a lot and seeks to make a lot of contact? Some babies are quite content to lie in their cradle for an hour and can’t get enough of the music mobile, while others forget about it after five minutes and want something else. Your baby’s character and temperament are innate. Your child is also shaped by environmental factors such as his/her place in the sequence of your children (is he or she the oldest, middle or youngest), upbringing and love he or she receives. But whether your baby is extroverted or introverted, is a matter of predispostion.

Developmental psychologist Jerome Kagan did research at Harvard University. He examined the temperament of 450 4-month-old babies. He did this by showing the babies new toys every 20 seconds. Some babies started crying and floundering with their arms and legs. These babies, who reacted strongly to the stimuli, were reactive. Other babies laughed when they saw the toy and started making noises and stayed calm. They therefore responded less violently to the stimuli and were non-reactive. Reactive babies were more shy and reticent at the age of 11 years than the non-reactive babies who seemed more social and open. Kagan’s research shows that character traits are innate. A mood like cheerful, grumpy, or sad can change, but character traits like being open, reticent, curious, or imaginative aren’t temporary. Even if you turn upside down, you won’t change your baby’s character trait. So there are always character differences in babies because no two human beings are the same, not even with the same upbringing.

Whether your baby is reticent, wild, shy or impulsive, it is important that you respect and accept your baby’s character. Frans Plooij: “Whether you are happy is largely determined by whether you are allowed to be the way you are. A child should feel that he is allowed to be the way he or she wants to be. A quiet little boy who likes to draw and puzzle, but is always urged by his father to play a game of football, can become insecure.” Nevertheless, it can be difficult if you see at a birthday party, for example, that your child is withdrawn and makes little contact with others. Many parents like it when their children join other kids enthusiastically. Lisette (35), mother of Feline (2): “When we visit or are at the playground, Feline always stays within a radius of a meter around me. She doesn’t dare to go on the swing or on the slide and constantly ‘sticks‘ to me.” According to Frans Plooij, it is not wise to ‘push’ Feline too much to go on the slide or make contact with the people they are visiting. French: “If your child prefers to play at home and is not particularly keen on going to the playground, you do not have to force it. Look at what your child is comfortable with. And if Feline likes the playground, but prefers to play by herself in the sandbox, that’s fine too.”

Do you have a lovely, temperamental baby, who likes to explore and loves excitement and activities? Then you probably can’t give him any greater pleasure than going out. To a playground or the petting zoo, where he can run, climb and scramble. But what if he also likes to climb and scramble on the bookcase? Frans Plooij: “Children should be allowed to be themselves, but of course there are rules and limits. An important rule is that you must not hurt others and yourself and that you must not damage things. So you don’t have to tolerate a child climbing onto the bookcase or crawl on the table. Don’t constantly say ‘take it easy’, this can make your child feel unaccepted. But from 15 months, after your child has taken the leap of principles, your child is able to understand rules. So correct them when they cross the line.”

Parents who have two or more children often notice a huge difference in character between their children. If your first child was more active and temperamental, they may find it a lot “easier” if their second child is calmer and more accommodating. But isn’t it difficult when you have two completely different children? And should you approach them differently? Frans Plooij: “Here, too, the following applies: take every child as he or she is. Just make sure that a livelier, more extroverted child does not overshadow a calmer, introverted child. Make sure that all children receive the same amount of attention.”